Lesson One: Remove every "r" from the end of a word. 

Lesson Two: Put every one of those "r’s” back into words that never had one. 

Congratulations. You're halfway to talkin’ like a Maineah. 

Here’s a brief vocabulary you OutahStateahscould make use of in your communications.  You’d bemore “salty.” 

Cah – what ya drive to work in 

Cah keys – what ya use to stahtyacah…except in Boston where it means light brown pants 

Idear – what ya supposed to develop at work 

Tuna – what ya use to make suah each string on a guitah is in tune…not to be confused with Tuner, which is a really lahge fish 

Humdidity – not a tune ya hum…it’s the thick aiah that makes ya sweat 

Cunnin' – as in “ain’t that baby some cunnin’” – cute (don’t ask us why…just accept it) 

Right out straight – “some busy”, as in “I’d like to help ya, but I’m right out straight heyah.” 

Chuck –what Maineah’s do with a ball, mostly.  Maineahsnevah throw anythin.  They chuck it. 

Thingamabob – similah to a Whatchamacallit or a Doohickey 

Jiggah – to fix something kinda casual-like…People From Away think it’s what yameasuah alcohol for a drink with, but theyah wrong. 

You know it’sreally hard to write in true Maine-ish, so I’m going to slip into the King’s English for a bit.  Consider… 

Mainers are nothing if not efficient.  The “r” thing is a great example.  You don’t just drop those ending “r’s”.  You save them to tack on to other words.  Nothing wasted.  Sort of the original recycling before there was recycling. 

Mainers are loyal. Mainers may be slow to befriend you, but once they invite you into their kitchen, you’ll still be welcome there 20 years later. 

Mainers are no nonsense.  Generally they live simpler livesso they tend to avoid the clap trap that accumulates.  Oh, they see it, but then they see through it. 

When a Mainer’s wrong, he or she is usually strong and wrong.  Nuff’ said. 

The funny thing is, learning to sound like a Maineahisn't really the point. The point is becoming more like the kind of person who made the language.   

I remember summers when I was a tyke surrounded by Snowmans and Gamages and Pierces and Grays.  To some extent or other, they were all families built around a way of life.  Some, the sea and fishing, some, the trades, and some, other callings.  But what they had in common was a sort of mental and moral clarity that many of their “betters” seemed to lack.  They were my summertime parents and big brothers and sisters.  And they were, and still are, good people, worth spending time with. 

That’s why the language they mangled is so important not to lose. It is that momentary gateway back to those people…those folks. They were a generation worth remembering. 

So, I proudly drop my r’s and add ‘em in elsewhere because…well, tradition! And what that tradition reminds us of. 

OK.  Back to Maineah-speak now: 

And then theah is the most utilitarian of Maine words: ayuh.  (True Maineahs often say it on the inhale. Tain’t easy, Bub.). Yup.  It’s the famous Maine "yes." But it’s more nuanced than a simple "yeah." It can mean "I heah you," "that'ssome right," "probly," or… 

"thisconvahsation’sovah." 

Ayuh.