“Between the (xx$#X) dust, the (xx$#X) traffic, and this (xx$#X) heat wave, I am not having much fun," said Ms. Pigette as she stood tall holding up her mailbox on Route 27.

“By the way, old scribbler, how’s your summer going?”

Somehow, my elderly iPhone failed to send her call to voicemail, so I was stuck talking to her instead of relaxing on the deck, enjoying my morning coffee.

“Not bad,” I replied.

Actually, this summer has been pretty good. The peninsula is full of lovely folks from away looking for a parking place to park the family SUV so they can jump on a boat ride, check out a lighthouse, and discover the joys of washing down a lobster roll with a crisp cold beer. Cruise ships are making regular stops unloading boatloads eager to check out CMBG greenery and trolls, and peek in a shop or three.

“No, you stupid old dog,” she said. “I know the tourists are back, but what has been going on with the strong women working to prevent MaineHealth from shuttering Miles’ labor and delivery services?”

“Well, in short. The Miles Delivers coalition put up a good fight but lost. MaineHealth also lost.”

“What do you mean? How did both sides lose?”

“In case you are living under a rock, the nation’s health care system is not a system at all.  It is a gaggle of competing public and private entities all seeking the same dollar. Hospitals, doctors, nurses, universities, insurance companies, health benefit managers, elected and non-elected officials, big and little Pharma, and the rest are focused on you and your family's wallet. Your phone, computer and TV and, for those who still read, magazines, feature ads for magical potions and lotions that will cure everything from an aching back to Lord knows what else. They want you to invest in gizmos that will shine a light on your tummy, warm your back and straighten your spine.

“And they all claim to let you in on secret products the big Pharma boys and universities don’t want you to know about. When you or your kids get the sniffles, or (God prevent) something worse, they all spring into action.

“Hospitals' units have always closed. They no longer focus on ailments like tuberculosis and polio. Officials say the Miles L&D is in the same boat, as they can’t find doctors to staff underused maternity units. Around the state, 12 hospitals have followed suit. One reason is demographics. Today, fewer women of childbearing age (15-44) are getting pregnant. Another reason is financial.

“But when MaineHealth decided to shift all the Miles delivery patients to Midcoast Hospital in Brunswick, they argued it was just a 40-minute drive away from Miles. That ‘just’ number triggered a firestorm of women who related dozens of stories of birthing disasters and other anecdotes reminding us all that giving birth is one of the most dangerous things facing a woman. And Route One has bumper-to-bumper traffic in the summer, and black ice in the winter.

“The Miles Delivers coalition not only gathered statistical data and other arguments against closing L&D, but they also enlisted the political class in an election year. The sitting governor, the Democratic Party gubernatorial candidate (who is leading by 11-16 points), and a bunch of other state and local officials on both sides called for MaineHealth to pause L&D closures to allow everyone to study the situation.”

“Wait a minute,” said Ms. Pigette. "If MaineHealth got what they wanted, how did they lose?”

“Easy, the feds plan to slash the $4.7 billion annual Medicaid budget that is shared between the state and federal government. Approximately $3 billion is from the feds, and $1.7 billion from the state, according to a Princeton University study. That means in a few months, the state will have to find $70 million or more to make up the shortfall. In a few months, MaineHealth execs will have to beg state officials for a giant bucket of money. If they had gone along with the politicians' pre-election request to pause the Miles L&D closure, do you think the pols would be more likely to help cover the loss of federal funds? Would the pols return the favor? Of course.”

“Looks like pausing the Miles L&D closure would have allowed all sides to declare victory,” she said.

“Exact-a-mundo,” I replied.

“Now, for the big question,” she asked. “How can we get some of that Red Sox rocket fuel. When they go 27 to 3, since July 3, somebody must be juicing the team's Gatorade. Right?”

“I don’t know about that, but if you get some, be sure to share a taste with an Old Scribbler.”