I’ve always taken a certain amount of pride in having managed to survive for several decades without doing much of anything that a reasonable person would recognize as exercise. But, there’s always an exception that proves the rule. In my case, for a guy who swore off “work outs” sometime in the late 70s as a direct result of an unfortunate experience with a Richard Simmons video, I have maintained a remarkably positive attitude toward mowing my lawn.

Although lawn mowing is at least a moderately vigorous physical activity, it’s nevertheless one I’ve found myself strangely attracted to over the years. The fact that I had some positive experiences with lawn maintenance in my youth may have something to do with that. In fact, one of my first summer jobs involved going door to door asking folks if they’d be willing to pay me a few dollars a week to keep their lawns mowed over the summer. To my amazement several of them actually took me up on the offer and pretty soon my little start-up lawn care business was booming.

I suspect that part of my motivation in deciding to tackle this particular type of work is related to the fact that lawn mowing is an activity generally undertaken only on sunny days. The prospect of being paid to do something, anything, outdoors in Maine, in the summer really got my attention. That the job also involved operating my dad’s bright red Toro power mower, a machine uniquely capable of generating that most intoxicating of all summer aromas; the perfect blend of unburned hydrocarbons and freshly mowed grass, made it darned near irresistible.

Then again some of my inspiration may have come from exposure, at a fairly young age, to a small group adults with a keen interest in grass cultivation techniques. No, not that kind of “grass.” Get your mind out of the gutter! I was just a kid for Pete’s sake.

I’m talking about the regular old lawn type grass a.k.a “turf”. You see, around the time I caught the lawn-mowing bug, my dad was a part owner of the Boothbay Region Country Club. Back then the BRCC featured a modest nine-hole golf course, which some local golfers had more-or-less carved out of an abandoned cow pasture. But even a small course requires a full time grounds crew to take care of seeding, fertilizing, mowing, watering and generally keeping the greens and fairways appropriately manicured.

After high school I spent several years living in apartments and rental units where there often wasn’t even a lawn to cut. Then again, I’ve owned a few homes with lawns frankly not worth bothering with. Arguably the fanciest home I’ve ever lived in was sited in a former pine forest where the sandy soil and juniper bushes pretty much foiled any serious attempts at lawn cultivation.

My wife and I finally quit trying, sold the lawn mower and had our whole front yard rototilled. Then we seeded the whole area with about 50 pounds of “meadow-in-a-can.” Ironically the resulting riot of colorful summer blooms drew rave reviews from our neighbors.

In sharp contrast, our current home in Portland, features a lawn so lush and fertile that we could probably make a living selling turf and, of course, a lawn that grows like kudzu demands constant attention. Returning home yesterday evening and realizing I had barely an hour of mowing time before sundown, I made a beeline for the garage, fired up the mower and commenced a full frontal assault on my burgeoning hayfield.

Generally I’m pretty mellow about mowing. But, this time I was on a mission. The weird weather we’ve been experiencing in Maine this summer has put the kibosh on my well intentioned plans to maintain a regular lawn care schedule.

Like a man possessed, spurred on by the threat of yet another deluge just around the corner, I carpe’-ed the diem, manically “power mowing” my little corner of suburbia into submission. Exhausted and drenched with perspiration, I parked the mower in the garage and myself in a hot bath. A short while later I was sound asleep.

Awakening the next morning stiff and sore from the unaccustomed exertion, I realized that my days of vigorous lawn mowing may be numbered. Perhaps it’s time to consider “Plan B” the classic Maine approach to lawn care.

This low-maintenance technique requires a one-time investment in several loads of cement, a few yards of indoor-outdoor carpeting, some strategically placed pink flamingos and a chaise lounge. The result is a year-round, maintenance free lawn and whole lot more leisure time.