“If you want to know what love is, have a child. If you want to know what grief is, bury him.” - Giannina Braschi

In the 1800s, infant mortality in the United States was extremely high. The child mortality rate (under five years old) was 462.9 deaths per 1,000 births. The infant mortality rate was around 27% in the first year of life, with approximately 50% of children dying before reaching the age of fifteen.

Throughout the 19th century, the infant mortality rate remained very high. In 1880, the rate was 347.49 deaths per 1,000 live births.

The cholera pandemic, small pox outbreaks, yellow fever, diphtheria, meningitis, scarlet fever and whooping cough took the lives of many children. The Spanish Flue pandemic claimed millions of lives, worldwide, in 1918.

By the early 20th century there were still significant challenges, with six to nine women dying per 1,000 births from pregnancy-related complications, and close to 100 infants dying before age one.

Declines in infant mortality began in the early 20th century. By 2020, due to improvements in healthcare, sanitation, nutrition, and the introduction of vaccines and antibiotics, the mortality rate dropped significantly to seven deaths per 1,000 live births.

Many old gravestones provide date of death but no birth date. Oftentimes a person's age is cited in years, months, and days. Because there are headstones with no information about the deceased, there could be a number of children who remain uncounted.

There are 241 infants (under a year old) buried in the District's cemeteries, 57 of them nameless, and 367 children ages one through seventeen. The infant mortality rate was so high that many parents did not name their child at birth. A number of headstones reference Infant or Baby.

The loss of multiple children in one family was not uncommon. Seventy-two families lost two offspring, thirteen lost three, five lost four, and two families buried five children. A private cemetery contains four side-by-side stones that provide birth and death dates, with heart-rending inscriptions: Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, aged two days, twelve days, ten months, and two years.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not 'get over' the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered.” - Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome here or you can email bbcemeteries@proton.me. I will also help find gravestones of family members.

Please note: This column is written as a private citizen and has no connection to the Boothbay-Boothbay Harbor Cemetery District. All content, including projects and opinions, are the responsibility of the author.