On Oct. 21, the Health & Wellness Foundation will be sponsoring another Wellness Forum at the Boothbay Firehouse beginning with dinner at 5:30 p.m. and program at 6:30. The speaker for the evening, Liz Lussier has written the following to introduce her topic, Change the Tone in Your Home.

"Are you tired of arguing with your kids? Do you sometimes feel like a nag? Does it seem like they never do anything you ask? Maybe it’s not that bad, but you would like more cooperation from them. Often, all it takes is a change of outlook.

"It’s easy to get caught up in negativity and only notice the bad things going on. Bad behavior gets our attention because it usually means we have to stop what we’re doing to deal with it, or it prevents us from getting done what needs to get done. For instance, getting off to school on time. When things are going well, we tend not to notice.

"One of the most effective things you can do to change the tone in your home and promote cooperative behavior in your children, is change your perspective and start looking for and acknowledging good behavior. You may be thinking, 'They never do anything I ask.' But you might be surprised. Challenge yourself to notice at least three good things your child does in a day and let them know you noticed. For example, 'I see you packed your backpack tonight. That’ll make getting off to school in the morning easier,' 'That was nice of you to play cards with your little sister,' 'I noticed you ate some of your veggies,' or 'You got dressed on time. Nice outfit.'

"With young children, the praise should be very enthusiastic and paired with hugs, pats and smiles. With teens, as you can imagine, it can be more low key. It should also be descriptive as in the above examples. Just saying 'good job' is not enough. They need to know exactly what they did right. It should also always be genuine.

"Keep a tally of how often you acknowledge or praise your child’s behavior each day. Self monitoring will help ensure that you keep looking for good behavior and stay focused on the positive. After just a few days, you should notice that you get more cooperation from your kids.

"Children need their parents’ attention. Yet, when you give too much attention (good or bad) to the problems, it reinforces them. Therefore, it makes sense to put your attention toward your childrens’ good behavior to increase the likelihood it will occur in the future. So, take the challenge. Remember to “catch ‘em being good” and try not to dwell on the problems."

To learn more techniques of positive parenting, come to Lussier's free talk.

Lussier resides year round in Boothbay Harbor and hopes to offer free parenting groups at the new Community Center.