GIANT MOLLUSK ATTACK IMMINENT
Down East Magazine has nominated us as a contender for The Best Pet Supply Store in Maine. The last time this happened was in 2021 and we won (I am NOT lying to you).
VOTE FOR US OR I WILL SUBMIT EVERYONE'S EMAIL HERE INTO THE FBI'S "PROBED BY ALIENS" FILE.
Sure, I put the seed in Hayseed. But the fact is, I will unleash my army of giant, spiteful Mollusks to attack the Boothbay Region if you don't vote for us.
Think you can survive a Giant Scallop attack? What about thousands and thousands of Razor Clams running rampant through your peaceful burg? Sure, you talk tough now, and that will make my maniacal laughter ring out all the louder from my fortified underground bunker in Waldoboro.
Still talking tough?
Until each and every one of you and all your incel friends and relatives cast your vote for Two Salty Dogs, I will refuse to have Auggie's anal glands expressed. Laugh if you want, but it's pretty painful to the old boy and he probably won't come out to say "Hi" in the shop.
The choice is yours. Decide wisely.
CLICK HERE: https://www.downeast.com/bestofmaine
Then go to: Shopping & Style > Best Maine Pet Store and vote. OR MY VICIOUS MOLLUSKS WILL CLAM YOUR LIFE. <<NOT A THREAT>>
Did you just fear-pee a little after reading this? Then put on some protective undergarments and click here to guffaw at our entire June Newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-june-2023-7226079
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