COLLAPSE AND REBIRTH. LOSS AND HOPE

Wed, 02/15/2023 - 12:30pm

I have served my beloved wife with orders that my gravestone should read:

"DON KINGSBURY - TRAGICALLY LOST HIS LIFELONG BATTLE WITH DEATH."

I think that way, after the Information Age Collapses, archaeologists will find my gravestone and be compelled to seek out these newsletters and my crappy book to asses my churlish and iconoclastic nature.

That's why I'm having every edition of this newsletter and my crappy book engraved in a series of copper scrolls, Once complete, I'll bury them in a cave somewhere in Buckfield Maine where they will last longer than a Cockroach's Twinkie.

Perhaps the civilization that emerges from the Information Age Collapse will have it's own version of that Ancient Aliens show with that weird guy and the hair. Most likely there won't be TV shows and we'll have Elon Musk's Mandatory Direct-Brain Information Injection. They will be known more affectionately as EMMDBFIIs.

Can you imagine the confusion and discord my gravestone and the copper scrolls will sow in the New Civilization? And what about how absolutely nuts it would drive the New Civilization's Ancient Alien's Guy? So worth it.

What does any of this have to do with Marz's new blog? Nothing.

Except the very human traits of Collapse and Rebirth. Loss and Hope.

So get yourself a cup of hot chocolate or huff an entire can of computer duster and click on "WHY BIPEDS CRY" by Marzipan F'Tang F'Tang Olay Biscuit Barrel Kingsbury.

Excerpt:

But this morning I forgot all about pooping!! That cold white snow was funner than EVERY OTHER FUN THING IN MY LIFE!! It was very cold and up to my belly and it was white and fluffy! I put my nose in the stuff and my nose got very, very, very cold!! Then I put my nose in it and used my back legs to push my nose through it! That was super-duper fun!!! Then I rolled around on my back in it!!! That was super-fun, too!! Everything about this snow was so super fun!!!!!

But Auggie wanted to get breakfast! Auggie always wants to get breakfast!!!! He said I’d get bored of snow pretty soon!!! No WAY Auggie!! Snow is the funnest thing ever!!!! And it was EVERYWHERE!!! Even in the sky!! It was coming down!! I couldn’t wait to see what the ocean looked like with the snow on it!!! I bet it’s funner than a game of tug!!! I bet you could run across it!!


Become obsessed with our February 2023, Award-Winning, World-Famous, Critically-Acclaimed, Most-Beloved American Newsletter here: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-february-2023-7226032

Commit to receive at least one Two Salty Dogs Newsletter: https://us8.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0e5740287c6b4fe45247c8351&id=315369d469

Click here to see some SERIOUS Maine Rapping: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyZXnpO8Jew