Dear Editor:

In the land of the Unwoke, we are angry white men who hate liberals. Liberals are anyone who disagrees with us on any matter of politics or culture.

In the land of the Unwoke, we love our guns. We look for any opportunity to score a righteous kill, whether it's a burglar who picked the wrong house to rob, a hapless individual who wanders onto our property, or anyone who makes us feel threatened. We also like to show up at peaceful protests in the hope that a melee will break out so we can start shooting people.

In the land of the Unwoke, we believe that the only role of government is to maintain the military and police to keep liberals and other undesirables in their place. We also believe the government should have monitors in every restroom to protect us from LGBTQ people.

In the land of the Unwoke, we inhale car exhaust fumes because it is part of our way of life.

In the land of the Unwoke, we go to church, believe in the Ten Commandments, and consider the rest of the Bible to be the true word of God, except for the parts we deem too liberal.

In the land of the Unwoke, we believe in the U.S. Constitution and will storm the Capitol to defend it. But please don’t quote to us anything about the general welfare or the powers granted to the federal and state governments to regulate anything, because that smacks of communism.

In the land of the Unwoke, we believe that women have their place in the church, kitchen, and nursery. If they are outspoken in causes we support, we will elect them to office so they can spout their ideas there and annoy the liberals.

In the land of the Unwoke, we do not believe in giving handouts, unless it is for something we support. We believe austerity builds character and that God will reward the righteous by making them rich.