I'd heard El Camino de Santiago, an ancient Spanish pilgrimage, can be counted on for the life lessons for which one is ready.

Here is what happened to me this spring. I was preparing for five weeks and 400 miles of trekking. I took suggestions for the bare minimum to carry, but, despite being forewarned that every ounce would make a difference, despite chiding, I was deaf to: “Leave your electric hair curlers behind!”

Why? At 11, 12, 13, in an elite private school my parents could ill-afford, two rich girls, close up, smack in my face had proclaimed: “You are ugly!” And I believed them! I tried to hide my face behind makeup, a dusting of flour. I grew up feeling ugly inside.

More confident as an adult, to be acceptable it remained a must to make myself beautiful, even on the Camino! Arriving disheveled the very first hostel, never mind overwhelming fatigue, I had to plug in my curlers, do my hair. A sharp sizzle, a flash. Dismayed, into the trash they went. I'd overlooked adjusting the voltage. No curls on the Camino!

I was sure others would dismiss me. To connect, be accepted, even by grubby fellow trekkers, I must look good, at least curl my hair. At first I sought to replace the curlers but, after 300 miles, grew used to being without.

I met a Spanish couple. His name was HEH-soos. Spanish for Jesus. Comparing my hair to his wife's beautiful curls, I was compelled to show them an iPhone photo, myself in glamorous hair and dress. This is me! No makeup, hair messy, the man sized me up:

Ah, but the beauty is within! I was stunned! His wife's name was Mary. If this was Jesus telling me the beauty is within, I had to look at myself in a whole new way! Over the remaining miles, I felt recognized and loved in encounters with pilgrims and locals alike.

Home again, I no longer need to dress up, tease my hair, to feel acceptable. My new electric hair curlers work just fine, but I no longer feel compelled to use them.

Alina C. Blakesley

Bayville

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