....But Sergey Lavrov was the jolliest Russian of them all...

Fri, 08/05/2022 - 9:30am

I was at my desk, trying to think of something offensive to write about for this month's newsletter when a bird flew into my living room.

It was a pretty stupid bird inasmuch as it wouldn't let me help it get out of my living room, and it fear-pooped everywhere. But I eventually coaxed it out by opening all the doors and windows of my house and drinking three bottles of Thunderbird fortified wine.

In the morning, I was covered in mosquito bites and moths were everywhere. But the bird was gone. I also think a family of bats is living upstairs. Don't tell Liana. She is of the fairer sex and terrified of triflings like potentially rabid bat colonies.

The very next day, I had The Covids -- THE DEADLY COUSIN OF THE BIRD FLU!!!!! What more evidence do you need to be moved to action, people?!?!

I've warned you before about the vast cover-up regarding birds, our reptilian shape-shifting overlords, and 5G cell towers. Please join me in my fight to recover our very basic freedoms. There will definitely be a lot of eye-crossing fortified wine on our path to reclaim our our independence from these puppeteer lizards who control every aspect of our lives.

~ Don (Not a Dog)


Read our latest World-Famous Newsletter that will educate you regarding which puppeteer lizard overlords give out ice cream and which just want to eat you: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-august-2022-7225928

Subscribe to our World Famous Newsletter - (Not affiliated with shape-shifting, alien lizards in any way unless we need to give hard names to our vicious overlords): https://us8.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=0e5740287c6b4fe45247c8351&id=315369d469