Dear Editor:

Anonymous sources within the Pentagon have confirmed that “President Trump is apoplectic” about the fact that an earlier president had purchased the domain name greatwhitefleet.gov. Laser focused on white nationalism and dedicating the resources of our national government to stamp out persecution of white people at home and abroad, Donald J. Trump wanted to christen his proposed battleship fleet accordingly.

Alas, his hero, Teddy Roosevelt, had ordered 16 U.S. battleships, painted white with gilded bows, to circumnavigate the world 99 years ago. The Great White Fleet’s mission was to overawe populations of the 20 nations where the ships refueled and impress millions more through news coverage of the voyage. It was also intended to project American goodwill around the globe.

Our TR Wannabe’s newest trademarked product line is now called “the Golden Fleet.” Twenty coal-fired, Trump-class battleships will threaten and intimidate our enemies (and potential enemies — the list is growing) everywhere they sail … but without demonstrating the Great White Fleet’s message of American benevolence.

Set to launch early in Trump’s third term, these retro behemoths, led by its flagship USS Mogul, will call at friendly ports in El Salvador, Chile, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Turkey and Argentina.

Using carrots for autocratic regimes and sticks for others, it will proclaim America’s greatness — to the disappointment and derision of our former allies.

Its final stops will be Caracas and Nuuk, capitals of our 52nd and 53rd states.

Bill Hammond

Boothbay