WE LOVE HATE MAIL! - THE LIGHTNING ROUND

Thu, 01/20/2022 - 7:30am

 

Q: Is it OK to bring dogs into the store?
A: Yes. But no children. They poop on the floor.
Q: What about seniors?
A: Sorry. Same reason.

Q: I bought a Larry Lobster at your shop yesterday and didn't get the web discount.
A: I know.

Q: Your past newsletters were way funnier. You're washed up, man.
A: PLEASE DON'T TELL EVERYBODY!!

Q: Your prices are too high.
A: You should see my cousin who smokes pot all day long.

Q: Aren't you the guy who dumped a truckload of bait on my lawn this spring?
A: That was my wife.

Q: Why did you shop for Marz? Why didn't you adopt?
LONG ANSWER: We are a pet supply store who have adopted 3 older dogs between 8-9 years old over the last 9 years. And the only reason we could have done that is with our two "bred" dogs- Max and Auggie. Max and Aug show the new/old dogs the ropes of our shop. And we are hoping our "Two Salty Dogs" will show little Marz how to welcome a new generation of rescue dogs into our shop.

SHORT ANSWER: Get bent.

Q: One of your employees made me feel very uncomfortable when I asked for dog balls.
A: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! ASK THE VET FOR SOME!!!! -- AHAHAAAA!
Q: Yep. That's what they said.

 

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