STEALING POLITICAL SIGNS

Wed, 10/14/2020 - 7:00am

ALL BASEBALL HATS -  27.1996638% OFF!!!

TWO SALTY DOGS PET OUTFITTER’S WEBSITE ONLY!

If I didn't have the Two Salty Dogs I'd probably be cloaked in filthy, decades-old rags. My mother always lived in fear of me wearing a potato sack or large box to school.

Luckily, my wife has continued my mother's long tradition of seeing that I'm clothed in public. Most importantly- that I'm fully clothed in something that won't panic the tourists.

That means a lot of my clothing is purloined from the shop. Thank Dog for these baseball hats.

I especially like these baseball hats because:

1) I like baseball.

2) Baseball hats allow me to skip a morning shower by covering up my unruly, fractal-like hair. At least on my head.

If I haven't forcibly conscripted you into this monthly newsletter, you've probably seen me at the shop with one of these hats on my freakishly-huge head. No, no... It's OK. I know my head is gigantic. I came to terms with that in 8th grade.

Fits most freakish-sized heads.

THESE ARE HAND-EMBROIDERED IN MAINE. THEY MIGHT TAKE A WEEK OR SO TO SHIP. DON'T BE A JERK ABOUT IT, OR DON'T ORDER IT.

  ALL BASEBALL HATS - 27.1996638% OFF!!!!
  Use Coupon Code: FREAKISH
  << Click HERE >>