REMEMBER THE MAINE!
Somehow this evolves into our Canine Buffet dog treats being on sale.
Were you even aware of the Maine Compromise of 1850? Or was it the Treaty of Ghent? Versailles? The Second Council of Lyon? Sturgis? The First Council of Nicasia? Help a guy whose nervous system is reeling from drinking a bottle and a half of straight blue Curaçao in under an hour.
Sure, it was called "The Missouri Compromise" even though Maine had been a "Thing" for over 250 years. That's why EVERY SINGLE MAINER will never willingly drive, fly, boat, jet pack, swim, walk, air balloon, jog, pack horse, drive cattle, streak, or otherwise cross over Missouri territory.
Maine was thrown a sop when the nation was beseeched to "REMEMBER THE MAINE! TO HELL WITH SPAIN!" in 1898. But I would honestly rather remember Spain with its lovely oranges and Flamenco music than tolerate the St. Louis Cardinals, Deep Dish Pizza, get a Brazilian Wax Job, or drink another Budweiser on top of all that Curaçao. In fact, the only things I can tolerate from Missouri is the battleship and the movies "Roadhouse" and "Waiting for Guffman."
These Canine Buffets contain nothing from Missouri. Not even the glue that attaches the labels. Not even the labels themselves. These treats were not trucked or flown through Missouri because that is what I demand of our dog treat suppliers.
ATTENTION! THE ONLY FACT OF THE NEWSLETTER IS COMING UP!
Jest lookit what each bg contains:*
(3) Pig Ears @ $3/ea = $9.00
(2) Duck Feet @ $1.75/ea = $3.50
(6) 6" Bully Sticks @ $6.25/ea = $37.50
(1) Beef Tendon = Priceless
(1) Esophagus = Timeless
* Your mileage may vary.
Total Value = $32,571,890,752.76
ALL CANINE BUFFETS NOW ONLY $17.75
USE COUPON CODE: REMEMBERTHESPAIN
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