This time last year I told you about a plantar wart that was killing me. Plantar warts are evil little things that form on the bottom of your feet- making even the slightest bit of walking a horrible ordeal. As Buddy says, "Sometimes you get old and strange things happen to you." Plantar warts are strange indeed. My doctor said I most likely contracted it because of my unhealthy lifestyle. She says that about most of the things I enjoy.
I immediately realized that I never updated you all on the status of my plantar wart for an entire year. How could I treat my loyal assemblage so thoughtlessly? I'm sure many of you out there were wracked with worry and could hardly approach a normal semblance of life with my unresolved plantar wart status.
So in the interest of closure: I ended up hacking the wart out of my foot with a dull, rusty X-acto knife sometime in February after consuming most of a bottle of Southern Comfort.
Just kidding!!! It faded away on its own and I never heard from it again. I'll let you know if it sends a postcard from San Tropez or something. PROMISE.
Saturday, November 21st
I'm not bothering to put a bunch of on-sale stuff in this bothersome newsletter this month. That's because EVERYTHING* in the shop is on sale on November 21st. How much you save depends on how lazy you are.
We are doing things a little differently this year because of The Covids. Instead of opening our doors at 5am for a cattle-crush of people looking for 40% off, we're trying to switch more of it to the website.
NOV. 21 EARLY BIRD SHOP DISCOUNTS:
You can come to the store between 10am - 5pm on November 21st and get a respectable 22.583% off just about everything*. WE ARE NOT OPENING THE SHOP EARLY.
You can shop on our World-Famous website for the REALLY BIG Discounts.
Use this handy table to calculate how much you could save on our website based on how lazy you are.
NOV. 21 EARLY BIRD WEBSITE DISCOUNTS:
Everyone who takes part in Early Bird is eligible to win one of 5 Gift Certificates.
Grand Prize: (1) $100 Gift Certificate
Second Prize: (2) $50 Gift Certificates
Third Prize: (2) $25 Gift Certificates
Online orders are automatically entered into the drawing and there's a signup form in the shop. If you are particularly cheap, you can send me an email and enter that way. We'll draw the winners that night on Facebook Live at one of the local bars that is open and still lets me drink there.
CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFO
*EVERYTHING EXCEPT: Dog Houses, Items already on sale, Pet ID tags, Food, Seresto Flea and Tick Collars, and Pet Photography sessions, and a bunch of other stuff I decide at the last minute I'm going to lose a whole bunch of money on.