聖母瑪利亞!- PART II

Thu, 06/08/2023 - 10:45am

NUMBER TWO

In the days of yore, before Mainers even had dumps to congregate at, they just used to burn everything in their back yards. After large swaths of the state were burned by out-of-control individual dump fires, the State decided to force all rural citizens to bring their refuse to a local "Dump" where it could be control-burned and unmarried daughters could be auctioned off for livestock or farm machinery.

The State threw up (Not literally), a chain-link fence around a condemned property in every Jerkwater Maine Burg and opened it up as "The Dump." In addition to burning stuff, there was also a backhoe to disperse and bury the half-burned garbage so the seagulls wouldn't drop all the used diapers on rich people's lawns. It was the salad days of Maine Dumps, and the only people who complained were those who lived downwind when a load of old tires or pressure-treated wood was dumped on the burn pile.

-- CONTINUED IN NEXT PRODUCT ON SALE

Use the liver powder and Hula-Lula powder to spice up any of the treat mixes or your own recipe. I also have a bunch of pork and chicken powder in 1lb bags if you're serious about baking dog treats. I'd be glad to send some along with your order upon request. Just mention it in the comments and I'll send along a sworn affidavit for your signature that proclaims you won't use any of the powder in human food, or sniff it up with rolled up $100 bills, or let your children sniff up Jello with a $100 bill.

Let's get on with the dump story, shall we?

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