CRIKEY!!!!!

I am taking lessons from "Putin's Playbook." Two Salty Dogs will ruthlessly invade Waldoboro unless everyone on my newsletter list hands over all their monthly disposable income, any pocket change, John McClane and any Nakatomi Corporation bearer bonds.

I'm serious this time.

Anyway, buy some stuff here this month so it's worth my while to continue to create original, if not misleading content. I swear if you guys don't buy a bunch of stuff this month I'm just going to copy and paste stuff from old 80's weightlifter magazines.

That should read “TREATS” in the title.

Have you ever heard someone say they hate Facebook? It's the 90's equivalent of someone leaving a message on an answering machine that says, “I hate talking to a machine.”

I don't hate Facebook because my political or social mores are easily offended or because my friends suck, nor because I think it is a ripoff for my business. It's not.

I hate Facebook because it is an ever-changing landscape of bizarre and incontestable "community standards," a desert of sarcastic humor, and a popular sewer of idiotic and obvious pages expressing grievous miscalculations in judgement.

But the main reason I hate Facebook is that I just worked about an hour crafting a FB/Instagram post about my dead dog Max. When I hit "Publish" it was lost. There was no trace of it- not photo or writing. Had Mark Zuckerchunk walked in here when that happened, I might have been charged with My Very First Felony. Many charges, few misdemeanors, no felonies.

Anyway, all our long-lasting treats are on sale. And don't be a sop and think that the 5-inch long x 1/2" diameter Etta Says treats are going to be long-lasting for your feral St. Bernard. Use common sense and size things out. All the information you need is there.

And remember, the more stuff you buy from me, the more money I can siphon off the company to anonymously taunt the ZuckerButthead until he cries.

30.99999998% OFF ALL LONG-LASTING TREATS
Use Coupon Code: FACESEWER
<< Click HERE >>

Read our latest Newsletter that is just chock full of this commercial garbage here:  https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-may-2022-7225892

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