Have you ever wanted to peer into the mind of a semi-psychotic, small town pet store owner?  Of course not.

But in case you’re on heavy medication or being held hostage with nothing better to do, here is our last blog “Getting to Know Me” - by Don

I can’t  give you the answers here. It won’t translate into this website. I can only give you the questions. So if that medication is kicking in, or the hostage negotiations have failed, why not join us in our latest blog until the SWAT Team gets its GO order?  

https://www.twosaltydogs.net/blog/getting-to-know-me-better-by-don

 

So many people come in and ask me annoying questions that it makes me want to set my skin on fire. I need my skin to live, so I figured I would take all the most commonly-asked questions you hillbillies ask me and put them in a handy quick-reference compendium.

CLICK A NUMBER AND I WILL ANSWER HONESTLY

1) Favorite phrase to describe an ugly baby.

 

2) Cottage or regular cheese?

 

3) First time you ate ribs

 

4) Sexiest Federal Reserve member of all time

 

5) Lather, rinse, repeat?

 

6) Least respected muppet

 

7) Jeff Goldblum or Nicholas Cage

 

9) Chili recipe

 

10) Chicken or Smallpox

 

11) How many times have you thought about the Treaty of Ghent?

 

12) Most disappointing ficus plant.

 

13) If the earth is flat, wouldn't all the people on the other side fall off?

 

14) Who would win the battle for Earth; zombies or vampires?

 

15) Worst non-German luncheon meat.

 

16) The most chainsaws I can juggle

 

17) Captain's Log or the Natural Log?

 

18) Favorite Broadway Showtune

 

19) What was that song that went, you know.... that way?

 

20) Favorite Mesoamerican civilizations

 

21) Where have all the polyps gone?

 

22) Beatles or Rolling Stones for a funeral/wedding

 

23) Ever lost your pants?

 

24) If telescopes use mirrors, how will we see space vampires coming?

 

25) Sexiest insect

 

26) Least sincere apology

 

27) I'll turn this car right around, I swear to God I will.

 

28) How does the crop report get to the government in Trading Places?

 

29) Smooth or Chunky

 

30) Most Pleasant Gulag

 

31) String Theory?

 

32) (In an English accent): Who needs a good spanking, then?

 

33) Artillery or aerial bombardment?

 

34) Favorite time seeing Bob Lindyberg

 

35) Drunkest you've ever been at Chilis and lived

 

36) Favorite Mass Extinction

 

37) DUCK FEET?!?!?!?

 

38) A list of civil engineering terms that sound dirty but aren't

 

39) Why are there no A-sized batteries and no B-Series Batteries?

 

40) Jolliest Serial Killer

 

41) Worst band I actually like

 

42) NATO or ASEAN

 

43) Fresh ground pepper?

 

44) Why everyone should hate the Belgians

 

45) Favorite movie with a dwarf

 

46) Celebrities my wife has been mistaken for

 

47) Tinkle: Sound or Liquid?

 

48) What's the difference between a buffet and a Smörgåsbord?

 

49) Dado, mortise, or dovetail

 

50) Would I be sexier as a Simpson's character?

 

51) BONUS ANSWER