Thu, 12/31/2020 - 6:00am

Have you ever wanted to peer into the mind of a semi-psychotic, small town pet store owner?  Of course not.

But in case you’re on heavy medication or being held hostage with nothing better to do, here is our last blog “Getting to Know Me” - by Don

I can’t  give you the answers here. It won’t translate into this website. I can only give you the questions. So if that medication is kicking in, or the hostage negotiations have failed, why not join us in our latest blog until the SWAT Team gets its GO order?  





So many people come in and ask me annoying questions that it makes me want to set my skin on fire. I need my skin to live, so I figured I would take all the most commonly-asked questions you hillbillies ask me and put them in a handy quick-reference compendium.


1) Favorite phrase to describe an ugly baby.
2) Cottage or regular cheese?
3) First time you ate ribs
4) Sexiest Federal Reserve member of all time
5) Lather, rinse, repeat?
6) Least respected muppet
7) Jeff Goldblum or Nicholas Cage
9) Chili recipe
10) Chicken or Smallpox
11) How many times have you thought about the Treaty of Ghent?
12) Most disappointing ficus plant.
13) If the earth is flat, wouldn't all the people on the other side fall off?
14) Who would win the battle for Earth; zombies or vampires?
15) Worst non-German luncheon meat.
16) The most chainsaws I can juggle
17) Captain's Log or the Natural Log?
18) Favorite Broadway Showtune
19) What was that song that went, you know.... that way?
20) Favorite Mesoamerican civilizations
21) Where have all the polyps gone?
22) Beatles or Rolling Stones for a funeral/wedding
23) Ever lost your pants?
24) If telescopes use mirrors, how will we see space vampires coming?
25) Sexiest insect
26) Least sincere apology
27) I'll turn this car right around, I swear to God I will.
28) How does the crop report get to the government in Trading Places?
29) Smooth or Chunky
30) Most Pleasant Gulag
31) String Theory?
32) (In an English accent): Who needs a good spanking, then?
33) Artillery or aerial bombardment?
34) Favorite time seeing Bob Lindyberg
35) Drunkest you've ever been at Chilis and lived
36) Favorite Mass Extinction
37) DUCK FEET?!?!?!?
38) A list of civil engineering terms that sound dirty but aren't
39) Why are there no A-sized batteries and no B-Series Batteries?
40) Jolliest Serial Killer
41) Worst band I actually like
43) Fresh ground pepper?
44) Why everyone should hate the Belgians
45) Favorite movie with a dwarf
46) Celebrities my wife has been mistaken for
47) Tinkle: Sound or Liquid?
48) What's the difference between a buffet and a Smörgåsbord?
49) Dado, mortise, or dovetail
50) Would I be sexier as a Simpson's character?