I should probably just walk around my entire conscious day with a bib on. I've got dribbles and other embarrassing stains down the whole front of me. Sometimes those stains go all the way to my shoes. Sometimes I don't notice them for weeks.

Thank Dog I don't routinely wear a cummerbund. I would go bankrupt in 6 months if I had to constantly dry clean the very fancy and expensive foods I spill on it. Foods like A1 Sauce and Chunky Monkey.

DID YOU KNOW?

Liana ate my Birthday pint of Chunky Monkey all by herself this year? She'll deny it, but IT'S TRUE. Did you also know that I had to buy my OWN pint of Birthday Chunky Monkey this year? THAT IS TRUE ALSO. I SWEAR TO DOG.

Of course all you "people" out there are not sympathetic to me. Rather, you are wondering, "WTF did Don do to make Liana so angry that she would withhold Don's Birthday Chunky Monkey and then scarf down the pint he bought himself?"

The answer is that I am a sadly maligned character who toils endlessly for the shop and all things decent and good on this planet.

SERIOUS MOMENT: This product is fantastic for older dogs. It has Chondroiten and Glucosamine for the joints. It also has White Willow Bark which is a mild analgesic that helps your older dog get moving in the morning and go to sleep in the evening. It's also Made in Maine. Drop by the store or drop me a note if you'd like a sample.

VITAMIN SEA
31.66392970175% OFF!!!
Use Coupon Code: MONKEYCHUNKY
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P.S. SHE REPLACED THE PINT OF CHUNKY MONKEY BUT SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED.

Read our latest World-Famous Sarcastic Newsletter that is so important it was hit by a Russian Haxor: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-september-2022-7225944

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