DON’T LET YER MEAT LOAF
I should probably just walk around my entire conscious day with a bib on. I've got dribbles and other embarrassing stains down the whole front of me. Sometimes those stains go all the way to my shoes. Sometimes I don't notice them for weeks.
Thank Dog I don't routinely wear a cummerbund. I would go bankrupt in 6 months if I had to constantly dry clean the very fancy and expensive foods I spill on it. Foods like A1 Sauce and Chunky Monkey.
DID YOU KNOW?
Of course all you "people" out there are not sympathetic to me. Rather, you are wondering, "WTF did Don do to make Liana so angry that she would withhold Don's Birthday Chunky Monkey and then scarf down the pint he bought himself?" THAT’S RIGHT. I HAD TO BUY MY OWN PINT OF CHUNKY MONKEY FOR MY BIRTHDAY. AND THEN SHE ATE THE PINT I BOUGHT FOR MYSELF. I am a sadly maligned character who toils endlessly for the shop and all things decent and good on this planet. She'll deny it, but IT'S TRUE.
SERIOUS MOMENT: This product is fantastic for older dogs. It has Chondroiten and Glucosamine for the joints. It also has White Willow Bark which is a mild analgesic that helps your older dog get moving in the morning and go to sleep in the evening. It's also Made in Maine. Drop by the store or drop me a note if you'd like a sample.
Use Coupon Code: MONKEYCHUNKY
<< Click HERE >>
UPDATE: SHE REPLACED THE PINT OF CHUNKY MONKEY BUT SHE NEVER APOLOGIZED.
Read our January 2023, World-Famous, Critically-Acclaimed, Most Talked-About Sarcastic Newsletter in this great country: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-january-2023-7226024
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Do it, jackball.