ALL DECEMBER LONG, YOU TROGLODYTE.

I had a vision the other day after drinking four Single Malt Scotches and Red Bull (A Scotched Bull) where I saw miniature AI robots with whirring stainless steel blades churning though the burned ash and slag of a post-nuclear wasteland. The bots were programmed to seek out and destroy mammal heat. Once destroyed, the "Blades" would consume the mammal's proteins to recharge their batteries. Recharged, they would resume their endless hunt to extinguish all life on Earth.

But enough of Elon Musk's sulphur-choked future for our planet. Please join me in my underground bunker. And can someone please bring a parcheesi board or something? You will be shot if you bring a parcheesi board and not the rules. Same for backgammon and Chutes and Ladders. Merry Christmas.

And I'm guessing not many of you will join me in the bunker considering I spell it "sulphur" instead of sulfur like a normal person.

ANYWAY.... Did you know that almost all of our collars and leashes are made in Maine? With one exception, they are ALL made in the USA.

We're going to put them all on sale in December. The reflective... the martingale... the safety... the leather... water dog... Weiss Walkie... OK.’m done.

And just so the mob knows: THE LEASH DISCOUNT IS MORE THAN THE MATCHING LEASH OPTION. If you try to cash in on both, I will send little AI heat-seeking robots with stainless steel blades to your house...
 
ALL COLLARS & LEASHES - 27.1996638% OFF!!!!
Use Coupon Code: SULPHUR

<< Click HERE FOR COLLARS >>

<< Click HERE FOR LEASHES >>

Read our latest World-Famous, Lab-Tested, Government-Approved, Quality-Guaranteed, Sarcastic Newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/twosaltydogs/the-salty-paws-december-2022-7226000

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Jeebus, just sign up for it, bub.