We can help. As long as you are committed to not being from away.
STEP #1) Open our monthly newsletter here: http://mailchi.mp/23bca93f2b22/the-salty-paws-december-2017
STEP #2) Revel in the bountiful hilarity encased therein.
STEP #3) Purchase more Dog and Cat-related stuff with the outstanding deals than you originally intended.
STEP #4) Wait patiently for your packages or use that crazy streak you once had to drive all the way up here to pick up your purchases in our shop.
STEP #5) Bask in the indubitable fact that you are no longer “from away.”
Congratulations! Your certificate is in the mail!