Domestic Violence: It’s everyone’s problem

If you read either print or online newspapers, watch television, listen to the radio, own a police scanner, or chat with your friends and neighbors at the grocery store, you’re aware of the increased violence, not only around the world, but all across our country, in our own beloved state of Maine, and even in our local community. There’s a lot of anger in this world, and, unfortunately, a popular way to deal with it seems to be with violence.

It’s not that violence is anything new, it’s just that in our own backyard, we now pay more attention to things than we did a generation or two ago. If a neighbor had unexplained black and blue marks, or a youngster had cuts on his back from an apparent whipping, we tended to look the other way years ago, telling ourselves it really wasn’t any of our business. Well, thank goodness, in today’s society, we’ve finally figured out that violence and abuse of any kind is EVERYBODY’S business. If a husband, wife, son, daughter, girlfriend, boyfriend, elderly parent or anyone else is being mistreated, someone needs to stand up for them if they can’t or won’t do it themselves.

Folks today are a lot more likely to pick up the phone and call authorities if they hear sounds of an obvious fight going on in the downstairs apartment, or if a child appears to be especially withdrawn or afraid at times when he or she should feel at ease. We are all learning that domestic violence isn’t just physical; many people in our society suffer from mental abuse, too. An overbearing spouse can, after awhile, convince his or her partner that they’re incompetent, inadequate, or incapable of functioning on their own. Often, they’re discouraged from making friends, joining groups or doing anything outside the home. Children and young adults, likewise, can be made to feel inferior to others their age, and thus keep to themselves, hesitant to try to make friends and "fit in.’’

Domestic violence is all around us, often a lot closer than we would like to believe, and those who suffer from it need to count on all of us in the community for support. Perhaps it’s making an all-important phone call which could change a person’s life forever, or something as simple as being a good listener and friend. As Domestic Violence Month draws to a close, let’s not be blind to what’s going on around us for the next eleven months until it’s time to focus attention on the problem again. Friends and neighbors who care CAN make a difference.

Mary Brewer